Wednesday, 3 October 2007

Had the misfortune to pick the wrong carriage and the wrong seat on the way home tonight. I have joined the ranks of other work harrassed commuters and been issued with a laptop of miniscule size (aka the IBM flea).

I got into carriage B. Unusually for the 17:50 I managed to get a seat straight away and I settled down to do some work - this in response to my boss saying "he wants more from me".

Anyway, I managed to position myself next to "Smelly Man" and within earshot of "Pretty, loud, glamourous, LOUD woman" who did not stop talking on her mobile to her "luscious" friends about the plans for the weekend and "hey, how great is my life, I'm so cool, yeah, great - ok, Ya, I'm on the train. Ya, come over this weekend, it'll be lovely"... etc etc for an hour.

Well actually she did it for 59 mins because just before I got off the train I grabbed her stylish mobile phone from her manicured hand and made her swallow it followed by a dessert of newspaper scraps I had got off the floor.

Smelly man went to sleep so I sprayed him down with Right Guard.




NaiT said...

AB-FAB meets 'Compo'? or 'clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right, here I am stuck in the middle with you".

Anonymous said...

Train Fellow

Now come on, you know you enjoy every minute of the 'action. If really upset you would have:
(a) moved seats,
(b) even worse, stood the rest of the journey
(c) got out your mobile and 'dummied' a discussion that out flanked 'LOUD' woman with wild chat about your drinking chums and forthcoming events etc.
The latter sounds more your style

Reference 'smelly man', are you advocating the return of 3rd class or perhaps fitting seats into the 'guards van' section for him?

It makes my banbury / Marlebone run look very tame



Anonymous said...

I know that this blog is a little 'tongue in cheek' but the more i read about it the more i think that you come across as being a snobbish, ultra critical, uncaring, upper middle class, judgmental, picky, intolerant and self righteous person.

It seems you like to look down your nose at others and judge them at all times whether it is 'smelly man' (how demeaning to describe him as such), women on phone, people with kids...

I'm glad that not everyone judges the way you do...maybe, just maybe, you need to live and let live and realise that not everyone is as perfect as you.