Oh how we love our fellow passengers...

London today.  Trains actually worked well mainly down to the fact that I limited the amount of time / mileage that I spent on the train.

On the way home this young fellow stropped his way on to the train, threw his bag down and slouched in the seat behind me. He spoke in an unintelligible way into his phone and then turned to the nice gentleman opposite and said "Oi mate dis trai' goin' to Redding?"

Gentleman: "Yes I believe it is".
Oick: Where else it goin'?"
Gentleman: "I believe it finishes in Gloucestershire eventually."
Oick: "ug".

It made me think of someone at work who said to some oick: "you can't expect to be taken seriously unless you make the effort to speak properly and to control  your emotions".....

I wonder if we have a real problem in this country where there will be a generation growing up unable to interact in any vaguely eloquent way.....

Anyway, enough navel gazing.

I have returned

So I got on the train today. 10.11.2010.

I got the 8.24 at 8.27  which was lucky as I was running late.   Went slowly all the way. Boring... But got some work done.

Got the train home. left 15 mins late on a much smaller than usual train. Late due to reports of a body on the line at Iver and someone acting suspiciously at Twyford.. No... that's just what happens in Twyford.

Got in my car. Felt achy and abused by the rail network.

So nothing much has changed in the time I've been away...  But at least I got to my meeting in time thanks to the services of a London cabbie.

The Highway Patrol

Anyone who still reads this will remember my general dis-enchantment with the "Train Managers" apart from 1 or 2 helpful exceptions.

I now have a similar irritation with the imitation policemen who turn up to every flat tyre incident on the M4.... aka the Highways Agency highway patrol.

Last week, they shut an entire lane of the motorway so that someone could have their tyre changed...

I know there are plenty of examples of lorries running onto the hard shoulder and flattening anyone in their way but just a bit more thought in this situation would have helped - it delayed traffic on the M4 in to London at rush hour by at least 20 mins.....

Grrr.. (as usual)..

TCF (the car fellow / treating customers fairly)....

LWW

FAO: Trainman

Delighted to hear your Bicester journey is going so well. I have to say, the M4 has been relatively easy and it gives me a lot of flexibility. Famous last words I guess.

Interesting to see how Beeching's cuts are being undone - the Cotswold Line and the back on the agenda doubling of the line through Kemble.

Best to avoid blogging at the wheel as Plod doesn't look kindly on it. Unless I could dictate to the internet and then I'd be a blogging nightmare!!

All the best

TTF

The M4-fellow

I'm giving some serious thought to changing this blog rather a lot...

I've been very silent for quite a while - partly due to a severe case of the "I can't be bothereds" and the fact that I've deserted Worst Great Western and have started driving.

This is down to cost and flexibility. I want to get home on my terms, not FGW's. That and the price increase to the trains has made me use the car. I actually save money!! £3 a day!

So the options that remain are:

1. Do a blog about driving... (things I've seen such as bad driving, police convoys, white van stories or waiting for the Park and Ride bus).

2. A really pedantic blog about how people mis-spell things or use incorrect punctuation. Especially on professional signs. I hear that someone else already does this so maybe there's another option yet to be identified.

Thoughts please.

Cold comfort

The new timetable is working well then.... 1st day and my train was cancelled. More embarassing was the fact that I had my most reverend and excellent friend Hitch (see blog) with me. I was hoping to introduce him to the high speed life I live when commuting.

It was not to be. The exciting, new, 7.15am train just didn't happen and it took the best part of 3 hours to complete the journey to work. Fortunately Hitch and I had a lot to catch up on so we didn't mind the slow trains as much as we might have.

It does seem to me that the change to the timetable just seems to confuse the whole network and we all have a bad day as a result.... So may I suggest something?

On the first day of a new timetable, work from home or take the car.... if you can....

http://hitchmo.wordpress.com/

TTF

I can't be bothered

I confess that, in recent weeks I have not been bothered to write on this here blog.

I must note that we've had some exciting new announcements on my little journey to work - "in this festive season, please do keep a look out for any suspicious items OR PEOPLE and report them to a member of staff or a police officer".

Yes, how festive.

Yes, officer, that man over there. The one who looks like he isn't from round here....

That's gonna work.

Grumpy TTF.

Worrying sights

Sometimes on the train one is given a special treat when the train stops somewhere that it has never stopped before - this time it was just outside Goring - very lovely. The hills were very pretty in the Autumn sunshine and the colours of the trees were breath-taking.

However the really exciting thing was seeing the train driver walk past my window.

It's a bit like seeing the pilot of your plane walking on the wings.


TTF

PC or not PC

I heard a wonderful sounding programme advert on Radio 4 today..

"Is Political Correctness the new Orthodoxy?"

Political correctness stiffles thought and opinion. Welcome to a world of mediocrity, shades of grey and no real colours.

I feel bored just thinking about it.

TTF.

VISAMAN!

Sometimes it's lonely being a commuter. So you can imagine my joy when Visaman (ex Kingham commuter) got in touch. He has a boring drive to Swindon every day. And he's home by 6pm...

That's part time really.

Git. I'm jealous.

TTF

Bras

Now I know this is a bit strange sounding but please stay with me on this:


I was on the train this week and had to go to London for some meetings. I was working hard on my laptop, attempting to get the 3g card to work for more than 30 seconds at a time.

At Reading, a large young lady placed herself none too gracefully in the spare seat next to me, thus pinning me against the window.

I managed to ignore her in true British style but I did manage to note the items on the tray table in front of her:

1. Large chocolate chip muffin.

2. Ipod

3. Phone

4. Romantic novel.

She took a while to settle, eat the muffin, lick all the chocolate off her fingers (I am not joking) and then turn her attention to the Ipod.

She placed the earpieces in her ears, selected the playlist and then, to my shock, pulled her dress away from her body and placed the ipod in her BRA. She then did the same with her phone on the other side.

Now I don't want you to get the idea that I was watching her every move but I was shocked to the core when I saw out of the corner of my eye what she was doing.

Later on she started a very loud phone chat with some mate to whom she said "CAN I TELL YOU A SECRET?" (Imagine here the whole carriage silently willing the person at the other end to say "no"). "I SPENT £500 ON CLOTHES THIS MONTH AND I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH ON WINE AND OTHER BOLL**CKS".

Classy.

I tell you no lie that I saw her at the Burger King stand at Paddington.

TTF

Limping

One of the things I have been doing over recent months is running. This is an attempt to stave off the lardy appearance and actually be slightly fit.

Sadly I have been running so hard that my right knee is giving me some proper pain which makes running for the train a bit of a challenge. You see I've been falling into the trap of assuming the train will always be a minute or 2 late at the station even though they leave soooo much time for us to get to our destination.

This morning I was just pulling in to the car park as the train was pulling in to the platform.

A very ungainly hobble on to the platform was followed by a round of applause from my fellow passengers.

TTF

Ouch

So, on the train outside Oxford I was waiting in the queue of people to get off the train and the woman in front of me had one of those wheelie trolley overnight bag things.

We'd be standing there for a couple of minutes and then, without explanation, she let go of her bag and it toppled over smacking me in the goolies.

Of course one makes light of the situation but it really hurt...

Many bad words uttered under my breath.

TTF

When we caught up with time

I was slighted vexed to note this morning that my train was to be 16 mins late. I checked this before I even left the house. This was due to an "unstable track bed due to flooding in South Wales."

And so I made my way to the station feeling slightly pressured as I had to leave for a client meeting fairly soon after arriving at the office.

But by the time we arrived at Reading, we had made up ALL the time we had been late by and in fact arrived early.

Collyn was clearly delighted by this and made us all fully aware of the fact we'd caught up! Now I was very pleased but it did point out one thing to me.... What a nonsense the time table is. Given the fact that the train arrived 16 mins late and arrived 1 min early, the train could depart at 7:29am thus allowing me to stay in bed until about 6.30am

It's just not fair. I want to stay in bed longer.

TTF.

Nearly.....

I humiliated myself properly this morning.

I decided to take the 4x4 to the station on account of all the rain and the forecast floods, disaster and general pestilence. This car doesn't go as fast and I left late to get to the station.

Also, in my haste, I managed to overshoot one of my turnings thus delaying myself further.

The praying that was going on was only punctuated by the screeching tyres as I took another corner a bit quick in order to get to the station - Sarah Kennedy (Radio 2) informed me that it was 7.13am already. My train departs at 7.12 so I thought I'd had it....

So you can imagine my suprise when I screamed in to the station car park and saw the train still there...!

I parked badly, grabbed my bags and ran like the wind. And then the car wouldn't lock properly so I had to go back. And then run again.. As I made it on to the platform, unbelievably, the train was still there! Up the steps I went, running as if through water shouting the immortal words at the top of my voice "wait for me! Wait for me". And he did.

I saw the highly efficient, much respected and frankly wonderful train manager. He looked at his watch, then at me with his finger hovering over the "LOCK ALL DOORS" button. I ran towards him and said as I approached:

"You are a beautiful man".

He smiled and let me on. And we left on time (according to his watch).

Managed to leave my phone in the car and didn't get a car park ticket either... Ooops.

The Black Box

The train was about to leave this morning and I heard the doors lock. This was followed by some pleading sounds and the stern response of Collyn the train manager.


Apparently he was unable to re-open the doors for the late running passenger because if he did, "the information would be recorded on the black box and I'd have to explain why I'd opened the doors and made the train late".


I didn't know that trains have black boxes as well. It seems that whatever they do, the train staff will be called to account.

Shame it's not really their fault but that of their management / Network Rail when things go wrong.


Small comfort for the lady left on the platform but I do understand poor Collyn's dilemma. Over the last year and a half, this train has taken longer and longer to reach destination.

Therefore any departure from the time timetable (aka List of Suggestions) is definitely going to bring all kinds of grief down on Collyn.


I imagine that FGW must have this list Gestapo like department who diligently download all the data from the trains and look for any problems and mistakes. This information must then be passed up the line to the enforcement staff who probably take Collyn aside at the next opportunity and beat him with sticks..


That's why he has a limp.

A Right Royal Green Dressing Down

Arrived at station this morning to be greeted by the Royal Green Jacket.

Today is Friday so I am wearing my "dress down" clothes - funky jeans, Gap
shirt, v-neck jumper and some brown boots.

In my humble opinion, flirting with cool but not too much.. RGJ said to me "Is this what it's come to? Dress down Friday."

I know he was baiting me so we went on and had a conversation about the disastrous Trinny and Suzannah.
Apparently Suzannah used to go out with Prince Andrew in her younger days and her family were (I quote RGJ here) "very disappointed that she didn't bag the catch".

How does he know these things...

All this is alleged and there is no proof for any of the above.

Back to work with a cold

After 3 weeks off, I steeled myself and went back to work today. It wasn't as bad as I feared although the commute was still punctuated with the usual banal annoucements.




I can now complain about something other than the trains though. I've had to find a new route to the station due to no less than 3 sets of roadworks along my route, all of which involve traffic lights etc.



Some might say I am change-adverse.



I think I may have wasted many hours just worrying about things that really I didn't need to. All made worse by feeling like I had sand clogging my head up and little streams of mucal matter emitting from my nose.

Sometimes lemsip isn't enough. And it's so difficult to get motivated again for the work year. I try to muster it up but really how excited can one get about then telling your clients that they can't have what they want for ages and that, no really we are a proper organisation with some integrity.

Trying to relax

I've had a couple of weeks off work - it's been fun and I've managed to get some decorating done and go away on holiday as well.

But all the time, I've had this nagging feeling at the back of my mind that I have to go back to work at the end of the month.
And I'm scared of what I will find when I do get there. Some churning mess of confusion and blame no doubt.

And I will feel utterly powerless to sort it out.

But what I'm really ticked off about is that it just sits there in the back of my mind - never quite going away. HOW DARE IT.

It really ticks me off...

TTF

I warned you about the Buddleia

This incredible plant is able to grow in the most unlikely of places.

As much as I love to hate the monster that is taking over my garden (I cut it back from the washing line today), I do have a sneeking admiration.

Today I found a single Buddleia plant growing out of a crevice on a brick.

No idea how it got there and it's not there any more but here's a pic to show what I mean.

TTF