Tuesday, 7 October 2008
Now I know this is a bit strange sounding but please stay with me on this:
I was on the train this week and had to go to London for some meetings. I was working hard on my laptop, attempting to get the 3g card to work for more than 30 seconds at a time.
At Reading, a large young lady placed herself none too gracefully in the spare seat next to me, thus pinning me against the window.
I managed to ignore her in true British style but I did manage to note the items on the tray table in front of her:
1. Large chocolate chip muffin.
4. Romantic novel.
She took a while to settle, eat the muffin, lick all the chocolate off her fingers (I am not joking) and then turn her attention to the Ipod.
She placed the earpieces in her ears, selected the playlist and then, to my shock, pulled her dress away from her body and placed the ipod in her BRA. She then did the same with her phone on the other side.
Now I don't want you to get the idea that I was watching her every move but I was shocked to the core when I saw out of the corner of my eye what she was doing.
Later on she started a very loud phone chat with some mate to whom she said "CAN I TELL YOU A SECRET?" (Imagine here the whole carriage silently willing the person at the other end to say "no"). "I SPENT £500 ON CLOTHES THIS MONTH AND I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH ON WINE AND OTHER BOLL**CKS".
I tell you no lie that I saw her at the Burger King stand at Paddington.