Sunday, 11 November 2007

A different mode of transport

Once again I will be deserting the train for a more elevated form of transport. I am flying to Glasgow tomorrow.

I'm not sure how this form of commute will compare with FGW but I will provide a full report. My only hope is that the plane does not fly in reverse formation like it's land based cousin.

Another point to mention - since my tirade of emails to the CEO of FGW, I have now arranged a meeting with the projects director of FGW on 26th November. This will happen on the train.

Any suggestions as to what I should say are welcome.



Andy said...

This may be a bit complicated but if you can manage it then I would suggest starting as follows...

- Try and arrange for some 'tick - tock' 24 style music to be playing in the background.

- Then start by saying 'Previously on First Great Western...'

- This is the clever bit. Have a strips of black cardboard stuck together to form various sized squares or rectangles.

- Act out each of your abysmal experiences with FGW making sure that as you finish one description you use a different sized box for the next.

- Optional extra's - When describing your experiences remember to move your head around the box in 24 filming stylee. Also, look around furtively, randomly mention the following words President, LA, Tony, Claire, Target, Palmer, Chloe and if possible use the following quotes:

"If you don't tell me what I want to know, then it'll just be a question of how much you want it to hurt." (JB, Season 5)

"When I'm finished with you, you're gonna wish that you felt this good again." (JB, Season 5)

"Oh, my God, what did you do? What have you done? " (JB, season 5)

"Complex problems sometimes have the simplest solutions." (Sherry Palmer)

"I used to be in the military. Used to do field work for the CIA. I've been to some horrible places. I've seen some pretty terrible things. I don't think I've ever been this scared in my whole life" (JB)

Anyway, I hope this helps...

Anonymous said...

Fantastic :-) Then whip out your automatic weapon from inside your trenchcoat!
Mrs TF

The train fellow said...

The worrying thing is Andy that I have spent a lot of time thinking about your suggestion as I have a new video camera. I've almost started story boarding it...

Andy said...

Cool...YouTube it if you ever decide to actually do it