I arrived at the station this morning and saw, as I wandered past the booking office in an aimless fashion, that the train was on time. I actually had to walk quickly across the footbridge to catch it - it literally arrived as I stepped on to the platform - great timing.
The "train manager" came on the tannoy (she actually knew how to use it without it feeding back or distorting - a rare treat) and over the course of the journey, thanked us all for "managing to close the doors behind us because this really does help keep the train on time". Nearly laughed out loud (thus breaking rule 10, subsection 3.1 of the Commuter Etiquette Code which reads:"under no circumstance should any passenger show any emotion even if he or she is in the depths of depression and despair or the heights of joy and ambition."
The irony is that the train was really quiet today. This goes to prove my understanding and indeed FGW's understanding or the railways - This railway would always run on time if it weren't for the passengers.
Or more literally translated: It's not the fault of FGW that the trains are late. It's the customers who don't shut the doors that delay the trains.
Damn these customers..