Thursday, 17 April 2008

I'm SOoooo London

Beware all those who alight at Reading station on platform 5. This is the platform with the highest frequency of trains for London Paddington.

Also in close proximity is Platform 8 which has probably about 1/2 the number of trains to Paddington.

So when you are on a train coming in to platform 5, it is normal practice to put your hand out of the window to undo the door (waiting of course for the selective door system to be unlocked / fixed)...

But what happens at Reading is that the door gets opened for you by an angry marauding crowd of commuters who want to get to London. The door is wrenched out of your hand and you are left to topple out. Before the train has even come to a halt there is a mass of humanity around the door in scenes that are not dis-similar to a UN Food Distribution Point in a famine zone. Except these commuters are angrier and have more energy.

And when you get off, they look at you in an openly hostile manner as if to say:

"Get out of the way you low life who only works in Reading. I work in LONDON. I'm so much better than you... Out of the way please, LONDON commuter coming through".....

So we fight our way through and go and pick up one of those faux London papers like "Metro" or "London Lite" and do the Sudoku and wipe our bottoms on them because that's all their good for... Oh yes and for the LONDON commuter to show how important he is because he's been to LONDON...

Ok, I'm done here.

TTF

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yeah but they have to live in/near Reading and work in London. Bleurghh!! Now those with real status who work in London live further out and act in a far more dignified manner ;-)

Anonymous said...

and those with real class, say stuff it to the whole jamboree and opt out, on Friday I wa at home with a cup of tea by 5.10pm, having done a full day in the office, I felt very smug. I will be poorer in the future, but only financially....the traveller formerly known as Visa man, now at Nationwide, proud to be different!!

Tim said...

I totally agree with this post - what is it with (not all) people who work in the city? It's just a city after all...... I'm quite glad I don't work there!