Sunday, 16 September 2007

More Etiquette for the journey hardened commuter

The Trainfellow would like to apologise for the non-running of this blog. This was due to circumstances beyond our control. The trainfellow once again apologises for this and for any inconvenience caused.

Right, now we've got that out of the way, I must tell you about a most amusing Etiquette incident on the train this week.

It was a very crowded morning due to the train running in what is excitingly called "reverse formation" (Imagine a squadron of fighter jets trying to do that - it would end in tears I'm sure). The effect of reverse formation seems to be to distribute people more evenly around the train, thus making my journey a little less pleasant.

I was stuck across the aisle from the man pictured below:

Sorry about the quality but the point is he was properly asleep - not just a polite little nod off. This was a deep level of sleep where you lose awareness of the facts that follow:

1) You are dribbling and muttering into your quite extensive beard

2) You are snoring so loudly that even the people who are wearing headphones and playing their music very loudly (this includes me) can still hear the snore and in fact the driver has slowed down the train to take account of some "unaccounted vibrations in carriage B". All down to this man's snoring..

3) A little bit of a whiff from the flatulence that has been caught in your trousers since you broke wind near Abergvenny where this train starts off in the morning.

So I hear you ask, how does all of this relate to Etiquette and the commuter - well all of the points above should illustrate why this man needs to go on the commuter course run by First Great Western at Paddington on alternate Mondays...

TTF

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I know what you are referring to, as I got stuck sitting opposite said man about three months ago ~ when he woke (at about Reading), I congratulated him on his sterling efforts in sawing up a wood, or perhaps a forest, of trees.

The remainder of those passengers around that area (with or without earphones), I must admit did titter, but the offending person just silently looked on, bemused at the retort (guess its happened too many times before).

I also concur with your comments on whiffs!!!!!! Similar thoughts of suspicion ran through my mind about the culprit.

By the way, Chiltern line is still ok. First major upset this morning though when I caught the slightly late 07.21hrs train ~ it was 5 minutes late. Still got to Marylebone by its designated time though, which seems strange I know, but of course it does not have Didcot, Reading or a single track to contend with.

Regards

Trainman

The train fellow said...

TrainMan

How nicr to hear from you again. Delighted to hear that your train has been late!! Mine is never on time ever...

I look forard to updates soon from your line.

NaiT said...

trainman... You are priceless! This post made me laugh out loud, there is one of those men in every confined circumstance, have you noticed?? He is always on the bus, in front of you in a shop queue, dawdling down a crowded street.... *sigh* thanks for making me smile xx