Sunday, 30 September 2007
The announcement on Friday last week was as follows:
"Good morning Ladies and Gentlemen. This is your Train Manager Roy Harley speaking. Welcome to the 7.18 train to London Paddington calling at blah blah blah..."
He's so cheery and polite even when he comes through the carriage to check people's tickets. What a lovely fellow. I will try and get a photo one day.
Wednesday, 26 September 2007
Everyday they make the most incredible racket with no cause or defence. Mostly I turn on my MP3 player and let them get on with it although there has been the odd occasion when I have gone so far as to shoot a very bad look down the train at them and I mentally told them to shut the hell up.
But today was different. I don't know exactly what happened but a fellow walked down the train and, when he reached the nasty horrid noisy children, he said in a loud voice.
"THIS IS A TRAIN NOT A CLIMBING FRAME. SHOW SOME RESPECT".
Instant silence followed. Brilliant.
Thursday, 20 September 2007
Sadly he gets a different train now but it is nice to have his thoughts reaching us through the Interweb.
The 07.18 club continues to expand. There are now 5 of us that travel to Kingham from the same town:
Ridiculously tall, good looking man
There must be others.
Monday, 17 September 2007
Most amusing. Jolly nice chap actually.
So today I was at Paddington waiting for my train and I saw Lord Douglas Hurd. Felt compelled to go over and have a chat. Very jolly fellow and we had a nice chat. Apparently he is keeping busy. He go the same train as me and was sat in Standard class.
You will notice that there is a blue tinge to the people I meet. That's 'cos I would kick sand in the face of any labour MP.
Sunday, 16 September 2007
Right, now we've got that out of the way, I must tell you about a most amusing Etiquette incident on the train this week.
It was a very crowded morning due to the train running in what is excitingly called "reverse formation" (Imagine a squadron of fighter jets trying to do that - it would end in tears I'm sure). The effect of reverse formation seems to be to distribute people more evenly around the train, thus making my journey a little less pleasant.
I was stuck across the aisle from the man pictured below:
Sorry about the quality but the point is he was properly asleep - not just a polite little nod off. This was a deep level of sleep where you lose awareness of the facts that follow:
1) You are dribbling and muttering into your quite extensive beard
2) You are snoring so loudly that even the people who are wearing headphones and playing their music very loudly (this includes me) can still hear the snore and in fact the driver has slowed down the train to take account of some "unaccounted vibrations in carriage B". All down to this man's snoring..
3) A little bit of a whiff from the flatulence that has been caught in your trousers since you broke wind near Abergvenny where this train starts off in the morning.
So I hear you ask, how does all of this relate to Etiquette and the commuter - well all of the points above should illustrate why this man needs to go on the commuter course run by First Great Western at Paddington on alternate Mondays...